How did I get to become so awesome? I was born this way! Well plus a few life lessons.
At this point in my life I was merely 18 months old and already smoking and picking up my neighbor “Becky” who was oh so hot. I was also raised by a single mother who strived to teach me the best in life and always told me to live it to the fullest. She did a wonderful job and has always been by my side; Even when I brought random floozies by the house she would just glare, and around the time I was finished she help them leave by entering the room and yelling “Get that whore out of my house” oh good times. Love you mom. Over the years I have lived my life to fullest and regret nothing.
I have traveled the country and lived in many states expanding my knowledge on what women want as well as adapting the lessons of the bro code into my everyday life. I learned many valuable lesson from my time traveling and my time abroad both in the military and out of it.
Top 10 of what I have learned?
1. Dress for success (custom made suits are a must)
2. Seem interested even when you are not.
3. Be assertive
4. Be better than you really are (no one likes a loser)
5. Confidence is key (They can smell fear)
6. The gym is our friend.
7. Food is the way to their ovaries.
8. Wine incites passion.
9. Recreational drugs attract strippers.
10. You can only score 2 points above your rating.
11. Women love a man in uniform.
I know I said 10 but who cares
So when my time in the service came to an end I decided what better way to get the most out of this top 10 list than to become a Chef and study food and wine. I dress in a uniform, carry myself with my head held high and can cook them any food they wish and still pair it with a wine perfectly. I get to meet many women and still have time after work to hit the gym. What could be better. I have had women follow me on the highway for over a hundred miles, security guards stop me just to get my number, facebook stalkers, college girls who needed “help” on their final, the girl next-door, models, co-workers trying to sleep their way to the top, strippers who had daddy issues, bartenders who stayed the weekend instead of working — even though I left all weekend — , and even the occasional single mother who just needed a release just to name a few. The average woman will admit that she is willing to put out after 3-5 dates, so don’t be in a hurry Jimmy. Just remember suit up and be better than you really are!
Just remember to stay awesome and don’t take unwanted friends along with you! Wear a rain coat! Above all no matter how much she swears she is on the pill and it is ok to release in her don’t do it! Do you want to be pinned down by a kid due to a one night stand? Don’t end up a dead beat dad.